Marriage in Islam is more than just a social agreement; it’s a sacred bond guided by the Quran and Sunnah. It brings two people together and unites their families, laying the foundation for a stable, happy, and meaningful life. For many Muslim couples, strong religious values are crucial for a long-lasting, happy marriage, but finding harmony and happiness in the relationship can be challenging. In this article, we will discuss our top five pillars of marriage, which are essential in building an ongoing and thriving partnership.
Respect for One Another with Words and Actions
In a marriage, respect is the foundation of every conversation between partners, not merely a kind gesture. “The best among you are those who are best to their wives,” said the Prophet Muhammad (PBUH). This Ahadith highlights that in a Muslim marriage, showing respect is a responsibility rather than a choice. Respect for one another creates a space where both parties feel heard and appreciated, which reduces conflict and increases emotional closeness.
Quranic Guidance on Respect
The Quran says,
(Surah An-Nisa, 4:19) “وَعَاشِرُوهُنَّ بِالْمَعْرُوفِ ۚ فَإِن كَرِهْتُمُوهُنَّ فَعَسَىٰ أَن تَكْرَهُوا شَيْئًا وَيَجْعَلَ اللَّهُ فِيهِ خَيْرًا كَثِيرًا“
“And live with them in kindness. For if you dislike them – perhaps you dislike a thing, and Allah makes therein much good” (Quran 4:19).
This verse teaches that even in moments of disagreement, respect and kindness must prevail. It’s about recognizing that differences do not diminish the love and bond between partners.
Tip: Practice active listening and avoid harsh words to your spouse, even in moments of anger.
Trust: Building and Maintaining Trust in Marriage
Trust is the bedrock of any relationship, even greater in marriage. Trust is built through sincerity, honesty, transparency, and consistency. In Islam, trust is a moral obligation; each spouse is a guardian of the other’s rights and dignity.
Trust as Taught in the Quran
The Quran states,
(Surah Al-Anfal, 8:27) “يَا أَيُّهَا الَّذِينَ آمَنُوا لَا تَخُونُوا اللَّهَ وَالرَّسُولَ وَتَخُونُوا أَمَانَاتِكُمْ وَأَنتُمْ تَعْلَمُونَ“
“O you who have believed, do not betray Allah and the Messenger or betray your trusts while you know [the consequence]” (Quran 8:27).
Betrayal, whether in the form of lying, infidelity, or breaking promises, erodes the very fabric of Muslim marriage. On the other hand, trust strengthens the relationship, bringing peace and stability to the home.
Advice: Honor your commitments and be honest about your views and feelings, no matter how tiny. Research indicates that married couples with high trust levels report 45% less stress and 30% more marital happiness.
Compassion: The Heartbeat of a Loving Marriage
Compassion means considering and empathizing with your partner’s needs and feelings in a marriage. The Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) set an example for all Muslims by treating his wives with great care. Small deeds of kindness, tolerance, and understanding—especially during trying times—are all part of compassion.
Quranic Encouragement for Compassion
Allah says in the Quran,
(Surah Ar-Rum, 30:21) “وَمِنْ آيَاتِهِ أَنْ خَلَقَ لَكُم مِّنْ أَنفُسِكُمْ أَزْوَاجًا لِّتَسْكُنُوا إِلَيْهَا وَجَعَلَ بَيْنَكُم مَّوَدَّةً وَرَحْمَةً إِنَّ فِي ذَٰلِكَ لَآيَاتٍ لِّقَوْمٍ يَتَفَكَّرُونَ“
“And of His signs is that He created for you from yourselves mates that you may find tranquility in them, and He placed between you affection and mercy. Indeed, there are signs for people who give thought” (Quran 30:21).
This verse underscores that compassion is divinely inspired, a gift that brings tranquility and peace to a marriage.
Tip: Perform daily acts of kindness, like helping your spouse with chores or offering a comforting word. Research shows that couples who practice compassion are 40% more likely to resolve conflicts amicably.
Communication: Effective Communication Strategies for Muslim Couples
Good communication is vital in any relationship, but it becomes the key to understanding, resolving conflicts, and nurturing love in marriage. Effective communication involves speaking, listening, observing, and empathizing. It’s about discussing issues openly without fear of judgment.
The Islamic Perspective on Communication
The Quran encourages thoughtful and gentle communication:
(Surah Al-Baqarah, 2:83) “وَقُولُوا لِلنَّاسِ حُسْنًا“
“And speak to people good [words]” (Quran 2:83).
This principle applies equally in marriage, where spouses are encouraged to communicate with kindness and wisdom. It’s not just about what is said but how it is said that matters.
Tip: Schedule regular, uninterrupted time to discuss your thoughts and feelings with your spouse.
Patience: Practicing Patience in Challenging Times
Every marriage faces challenges, whether financial, emotional, or related to health. Patience, or sabr, is the virtue that allows couples to endure these trials without letting them affect the core of their relationship. Patience in marriage means giving your spouse time, understanding their shortcomings, and supporting them through difficult times.
Patience in the Quran
The Quran teaches,
(Surah Al-Baqarah, 2:153) “إِنَّ اللَّهَ مَعَ الصَّابِرِينَ“
“Indeed, Allah is with the patient” (Quran 2:153).
This verse reassures us that Allah rewards patience, essential to a successful and happy marriage. It’s about enduring hardship with grace and maintaining faith that better times will come.
Tip: Practice patience by taking deep breaths during disagreements and allowing time to resolve issues naturally.
Building a Strong and Happy Muslim Marriage
Mutual respect, trust, compassion, communication, and patience are the five pillars of marriage that Muslims believe are necessary to create a solid, fulfilling, and long-lasting union. These ideas can transform a relationship from just getting by to thriving when regularly applied. When consistently applied, these ideas can transform a relationship from just getting by to thriving.
At Ihsan Coaching, we offer Muslim marriage expert coaching for couples who want to build a long-lasting relationship rooted in Islamic principles. Whether you’re newly married or have been together for years, our coaching sessions help you understand and apply key concepts that lead to a harmonious and happy marriage. Let us guide you in creating a bond that thrives today and ensures a lifetime of joy and peace.
FAQs
How can I improve communication with my spouse?
Start by scheduling regular conversations where you can speak freely without interruptions. Focus on listening as much as talking. Try to understand your spouse’s perspective and avoid judgment. Ihsan Coaching offers personalized sessions that teach effective communication strategies grounded in Islamic principles.
How crucial is patience in a married relationship?
Couples need patience to get through difficult times together without letting them harm their bond. It’s about extending time, space, and understanding to one another in trying circumstances. A patient spouse can build a more robust and resilient union. Ihsan Coaching provides strategies for strengthening your marriage’s patience.
Is compassion able to improve my marriage?
Unquestionably. A compassionate environment fosters a sense of love and support for both spouses. Small gestures of understanding and kindness can facilitate building a strong relationship. You and your partner can develop compassionate everyday interactions with the support of Ihsan Coaching.
Why does Islamic marriage place such a strong emphasis on mutual respect?
Absolutely. Compassion creates a positive environment where both partners feel loved and supported. Small acts of kindness and understanding go a long way in building a solid bond. Ihsan Coaching can help you incorporate compassion into daily interactions with your spouse.
Why is mutual respect so emphasized in Islamic marriage?
Mutual respect is the foundation of any strong relationship. Islam teaches us that respecting your spouse is not just recommended; it’s a religious obligation. It helps strengthen marriage. Ihsan Coaching provides insights into cultivating and maintaining respect in your marriage.
